Shanti’s Dispatches

1. Always start with a great idea.

   If you don’t have one, no problem.

   You can find these by flipping through a copy of Fast Company, or an old issue of The Industry Standard.

2. Never use version control software. Quite frankly, it’s overrated.
3. The key in starting a business lies in picking a great name.

   That’s probably 50% of the work, right there.

4. Outsource critical aspects of your business to offshore development firms, especially if you received an unsolicited email from one, advertising their services.

   Of course, only do so after having first learned about the benefits of this trend from a Delta Airlines in-flight magazine.

5. Use Java. Always use Java. No matter what the project.
6. Quit your day job, even if you only have $276 in your bank account, $11k in credit card debt, and another $23k in student loans.

   You’ll make up the difference through profits within no time. Trust me.

7. It’s important that you build your company infrastructure around the right platform. Windows NT is an ideal choice.

   You might also consider springing for the new Windows 2003 Server, that is, if you really want to blow away your competition.

8. Using third-party libraries can be a great way to kickstart your development effort. I recommend having no less than three dependencies on external, closed-source libraries, for any of your core business applications.
9. If you’ve never had a day of CS classes in your life, it’s important to listen to industry experts, and do what they say, especially Paul Graham.

   When Java is not available as an option to you - always use Lisp.

   Sure, the curly braces are annoying. Sure, you’ve only taken an intro to Visual Basic class at your local Community College. Still, you should be able to pick up Lisp in no time. Again, you’ll just have to trust me.

10. It’s key to have a large Flash intro on your homepage (preferably 350Kb or more, for maximum effect). Anything less will give the impression that you just don’t care about your company image.
11. You may have heard otherwise, but it really is okay to treat your customers with contempt.

    They are, after all, just ones and zeros on your Profit & Loss Statement.

12. Remember - Venture Capitalists always have your best interest in mind.
13. Don’t worry about building a great product, or even a great company.

    Just focus on ways to achieve an exit event within the next two years, or less.

14. Striving for profitability has been a nuisance that’s plagued mankind since the dawn of capitalism. Instead, just memorize three key words and repeat them to yourself like a mantra.

    These are: Get Big Fast

15. Don’t worry about the little guys - the upstarts - who are just coming out of the gates.

    Instead, focus on the IBMs and the Ciscos of the world. They’re much bigger than you, which translates into more experience and more resources.

    When confronted, it’s usually best just to accept defeat and join them.

16. Finding and hiring the best people is only marginally important. You’ll just have to be sure they have an MBA.
17. Remember - your employees are commodities. Not your friends.

    Don’t get all buddy-buddy with them.

18. It’s important that you build a mass email list from very early on - by any means necessary. Use this regularly to solicit new business. Even with a 1% response rate, the profits will start adding up pretty quickly.
19. Once you reach a certain level of success - it’s important that you no longer issue stock or stock options in your company. If you must, only do so to senior executives. You want your employees dependent on you for their paycheck. If they become too wealthy from stock options, they’ll just end up quitting.

    Microsoft had this problem, and look what happened to them.

20. Whatever you do, don’t look foolish by jumping on the blogging bandwagon.

    If some marketing hotshot you’ve hired persists, be sure to run every post through Legal, Marketing, and HR first, then back to Legal for one final review.

    That should shut him up.

21. Keeping abreast of industry news will be important. You’ll want to start by organizing news sites into your IE Favorites, with a folder for each category. When you have a free moment, simply click on your Favorites bar, then browse to the category.

    You may also have heard about RSS by now. This is, indeed, yet another fad. Avoid RSS like the plague.

    Now, XML - that’s a different story. XML is here to stay.

22. Along the way, you will encounter many industry pundits who espouse opinion as fact - not unlike I’m doing now.

    Pick one or two of them, and never question anything they say. When two of your favorite pundits happen to disagree, use last name alphabetically (on an alternating basis) to determine with whom you’ll agree.

    For example, in the rare event that a Clay Shirky statement conflicts with a Cory Doctorow one, pick the Doctorow statement first.

    Next time a dispute arises, pick the Shirky statement.

    Make sense?

    You can use an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of this.

23. Now, this last one’s important. Probably the most important one of all.

    You should only work on your startup when it’s easy and effortless. If you run into too big of a stumbling block, forget it.

    This is a sure sign that it’s time to switch to another project, or read Slashdot.

    Don’t come back to any projects abandoned this way, either.

    It’s a well-known fact that real accomplishment takes little effort, just a few lucky breaks and the right attitude.

    If you’ve been plugging away on something for two weeks, let alone two months, it’s probably time to move on.

That’s all for now.

Lastly,

Whatever you do, don’t share these rules with your competitors.

Instead, print out several copies of this and hang them up around the office. They can serve as a checklist for you along the way.

Original publication date: April 1, 2005