Shanti’s Dispatches

It’s no Las Vegas, but still. Phoenix baby, Phoenix, here I come.

I ventured to New York not too long ago with high hopes, little cash, and no job prospects. That didn’t last too long. Staying at my friend Paul’s apartment in Mid-town was just great. Satellite TV. Prime location. Fun people, etc, etc. But not wanting to be “that guy,” the perpetual couch-stayer, I soon found a room/sublet on Craigslist.

Okay, so this was in Manhattan, but it was wayyy north, like Harlem-style north. The room was only $450 per month, which you can’t beat for Manhattan. I’d like to live in NYC again someday, but I’d have to be making at least $70k+ to enjoy myself. You really have to live down in the thick of things, otherwise you feel disconnected without a car, having to take a 25+ minute train ride, it seems, to get anywhere.

So, on to Phoenix. I’ve been feeling the bug for too, too long to get back out of St. Louis. The only other city I’ve seriously considered is Miami, where an ex-girlfriend (we’re still friends) has moved. (Shout out to L-dog if you’re reading…) She’s like my Elaine (think Seinfeld), my Sally (when Harry…). I think we’ll probably always be friends, even if nothing ever happens again romantically. We used to have one of those cheesy arrangements, “if neither of us gets married by the time we’re X years old, we should look each other up and blah blah.” But anyway, living in Miami beach is really just a fantasy for me, and only knowing one person (your ex-girlfriend) is probably not the healthiest reason to move to a city.

I’ve got some family out in Phoenix and will actually be staying in my cousin’s condo (Yay!). People keep asking me if I have a job lined up out there. Lately, with my recent renewal of entrepreneurial activities, obtaining a job has been the last thing on my mind. I think I may have to “burn the ships” on this one. This refers to a legend of an ancient Greek battle where the commander of the army burned the ships of his forces after they landed on enemy territory. The only way home was to win the war. Which they did.

So I’m considering pulling 100% of my retirement savings out and just going for it. The worst that could happen is I’ll have put tons of effort into some projects for probably six months, and not have earned a dime nor created any valuable web businesses. From my experience, this is doubtful. With Popdex, I worked nights and weekends while working at a full-time job, for a little over a month, and created something that has gone on to probably be worth… well, let’s just say, more than twice what I used to make in a year.

So… wish me luck as I journey out west, again. This time my goal isn’t to make shitloads of money and surround myself with beautiful people and fancy things, in order to cover up my self-loathing or rather, lack of self-love. I only confess to this prior character flaw, because it’s so disgustingly endemic and rampant within our society. If you know someone who has succumbed to this disease, please do your best to look them in the eye, smile, and give them secret, pseudo-encrypted hints and messages explaining why none of that bullshit matters, and that everything is going to be fine, no matter how much money they make or how many stereotypically attractive people they surround themselves with.

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